Sober-minded

A sunlit morning, in a misty pine forest, breathing in the mid winter, July air. Solitude is my best friend.
A time where I can connect with God and the innermost parts of myself.

In the recent day, I had a good chat with a friend of mine at church. We bid farewell to one of my other good friends, who has now moved to another city in South Africa.

We ended up chatting about life and all things wonderful (as usual)
I eventually ended up posing the question, "How does one know what to accept into their lives, if they are not aware of who they truly are inside, what they stand for, what makes them who they are, their values and character and ultimately - what they want?"


In your early twenties, being 23 myself - It can be a uphill slope trying to determine who you are. Trying to find your balance.


In my last blog, I wrote on life itself and how to rise from the situations that life can sometimes throw at you, and how it isn't always as easy as it sounds.

On Sunday morning, my Dad preached on how there's a world out there fighting for your soul, trying to steal your peace and wanting to rob you of life. "It's so easy to get caught up in a hype, follow trends and people that don't really care about you. Seeking God comes first  - God directs your steps," He said.

Conforming to the standards and expectations that society places on us as individuals is the easy, quick-kill method to derail you from your purpose. A false acceptance, a sense of belonging or an image to uphold can bind us, even though it places a misconception of what freedom may be.

Somehow if we remove the hype, the people, the trends, all the material stuff that people use to define themselves, then what are we left with? Just us and our Creator right?

It's strange how life works. In trying to determine who you are, you eventually learn that, your job, status, qualification, money, friends and everything that you thought would make you into something or confine you into a box isn't enough. There's more to life, more to learn. I remember being told once - that during a month or a year, with all our to-do lists, we become human-doings instead of human-beings and  that sometimes we get caught up in what we need to do daily that we forget what we're actually becoming or who we want to be.

Only once you know what you want to be - can you only know what it is you need to be doing in order to become who you need to be - And that's living a purpose-driven life. We tend to forget the bigger picture in life when we act on our emotions, feelings or insecurities that are not aligned with who who we are or want to be, they might just be triggered by outside circumstances. Subtract it all - there's only one thing that is timeless and can help us whilst walking our journey: Character - Something that is built when we make a conscious decision to train ourselves to see the good in every situation, to make good life choices and walk away from things that could potentially shake who we are on the inside. 

Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.

It's super easy to give in and try to identify yourself from the worlds point of view, or maybe to rely on your feelings and emotions whichever way they go, but it's unrealistic. A trap to say the least.

This is what I mean,

I currently work as a Social Media Manager, and I have for the past 2 and half years, going for three.  Keeping up with the latest in news, media and trends is what I do for a living. Also a third year Law scholar, having to balance out my work/study schedule can be hectic. Apart from that, in my spare time, I focus on nurturing my hobbies, learning about new health products, developing them. I try to be as well-rounded as possible. With all these varied ventures and being a person that is highly passionate about all forms of art, also being bombarded by the media and the pressures of society - there's varied emotions I come across daily - In terms of Art, I have to rely on my emotions to create it and at times that can be overwhelming. Sometimes it's like playing make believe, or singing in characters, but does my art or what I produce make me who I am?

No, but what I speak over my life and I what I allow into it can. Music, a form of art for example can make us feel happy or sad because a part of us can relate to the things that we listen to, movies that we watch may make us feel some type of way as well.

Let me add that although I'm very involved in my own community and I am socially-active (not just on media but in life) I'm actually unsociable, I prefer solitude, but don't get me wrong - I wouldn't turn down any social invitations. I get just enough social interaction that when I do have solitude, I can appreciate it. I just prefer it that way, because it helps me express who I am better, I can be more creative in my own space.




I believe it's important for each person to take some time to focus, realign their values and who they want to be. It's also a chance to just breathe.



There's a saying that goes something like, people don't remember what you did for them but how you made them feel.

The art I create is always intentional, as much as I'm still learning, I've come to a point where I understand that I wouldn't want people to relate to something that depresses them further or makes them feel empowered in an abusive way, neither would I use my platform or opportunity to encourage behaviour that will ultimately destroy  the life of another. That would come from a lack of character on my part.

Based on the example above, understanding what you feel, your weaknesses and strengths, what you want in life and how you make others feel, being aware of your expectations and standards is important to determine what you allow for yourself, your family and your future.

Being mindful of your actions and behaviour and how it affects others is a priority in taking care of both you and the people you love and are committed to, and obviously those that you come into contact with. It's a form of investment and to highlight: A good life choice.

I love what Jon Bloom from Desiring God wrote in his article -



God designed your emotions to be gauges, not guides. At Desiring God we like to say pleasure is the measure of your treasure, because the emotion of pleasure is a gauge that tells you what you love.
But because our emotions are wired into our fallen natures as well as into our regenerated natures, sin and Satan have access to them and will use them to try and manipulate us to act faithlessly. That’s why our emotional responses to temptation can seem like imperatives (you must do…) rather than indicatives (here’s what you’re being told). Just remember, that’s deceit.
Emotions aren’t imperatives; they’re not your boss. They’re indicatives; they’re reports. That’s why Paul wrote, So get ready today. “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). He will make promises to and/or threats against you. He will likely try and tap into your weak areas of unbelief and you may find your emotions surging in the wrong direction.When that happens don’t be overly impressed. And remember that your emotions are gauges not guides. Let them tell you where the attack is being made so you can fight it with the right promises. And go to a trusted friend for prayer, perspective, and counsel if you need to.

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/your-emotions-are-a-gauge-not-a-guide

That pretty much sums it all up, in order to truly prosper in peace, be mindful - and don't be ruled by your emotions. Channel your energy in the right direction so that you can encourage others, but also so that you can live a life of freedom. Understanding yourself is the first step to shaping your reality.
Being real and genuine with yourself beats being relevant -

"When you are being true to yourself, you are completely honest with what you feel, deeply value, and desire. It also means communicating your feelings wholeheartedly both with yourself and others, allowing your truth to flow through you and into the world."